Challenge Everything, Question Everything, Don’t Be Afraid to Change Anything!

I read this article – in search of something interesting – in the wee hours last night, and it made a huge amount of sense to me.

8 Subconscious Mistakes Our Brains Make Every Day and How to Avoid Them

Two very important things – knowing the difference between sunk cost and restarting and changing the goals. Ie, not giving up on things you know matter and are achievable, but also paying attention to the time you take out of misplaced loyalty such as disciplining yourself to complete something you know will not achieve your maximum input or desired effect, but continuing … because you started.

I started with point number three I guess, because I realised, I’m very guilty of this.  I would be the person in the cinema seat watching the whole film.  I have such a grounding of how important money is, that it horrifies me the idea of just wasting it and getting up and walking out.  But, I also know, and can see through reading this, that TIME is important.  You do not get back time, but you could make more money.

Say I had two races to run, cross country,  they are more of a practice run but I, rather not thinking straight, put my name on both lists.  I know, I cannot gain a great placing with the first one, I took a bit of a wrong turning, and my trainer lace broke, making it a bit loose so I’m having to balance that trainer so it doesn’t fall off, and there are still a few miles to go with this, I’m plodding along at the tail end, and I know everyone else is home and dry.  I want to finish, of course I do, but, what about that second one this afternoon?  Wouldn’t I be better to conserve my energy and perhaps do better trying again later, and with a different approach?  Not sure I’ve picked very good examples there but I’m thinking out loud.

I like to play – a lot.  I do this to challenge my mental agility.  I also find it a great de-stresser and a brilliant way to start focusing.   I’m also guilty of picking games that can take a lot of time.  I see my time on the ticker going down, and I know from previous attempts, that I can do better, go faster, spot changes better or be dealt a better deal with whatever it is I am doing.  But, I am also aware again of my discipline to stay with it and complete the game at a slower time than I have managed before.  Surely this is sunk cost, I need to refresh, and be more focused instead of tiring myself – feeling my spirit lower but gritting teeth in earnest, I will finish.

Going back to my race.  If this was a marathon and I was raising money for good causes – then yes, finishing is important.  But most things in life aren’t marathons, they are ideals where we are looking to maximise our achievement in the shortest amount of time and with the least amount of effort.  That’s not to say drop the quality, but up the output.  Feeling vulnerable to losing stops us from making good, clean cut decisions.

I found myself actually reflecting on successful friends, and I know, they don’t worry about changing the goals, they stop at the right time and restart.   They are not only successful, they appear confident, happy, warm individuals, bringing leadership, encouragement and example into all they do.

This kind of makes me reflect on point number one.  For many years, more than I wish to mention, being a lady, I kept with people who had probably totally the same viewpoints, same way of doing things, and the same lifestyles, I didn’t change any of that because I was fearful, I did things, because, you just did.  I hit forty  – okay, I’m not really that much of a lady –  and suddenly, this wonderful thing called the ‘Internet’ happened.  All of a sudden, social media allowed you to mix with people who did things differently, lived in different countries, had different cultures and upbringings.  I love this.  That example of ‘feeling vulnerable to losing’ also comes from allowing status to get in the way – the status YOU give yourself.

Looking at point eight and point one together,  the stereo-typing of Jane and Linda, along with point six on the anchoring effect show me where I often go wrong again in my assumptions of how I see other people and how I think other people see me.  I cloud myself with detail that isn’t there, or even if it is, is not important.  That’s an interesting reflection that tied in with my class yesterday looking at how to present information and leaving out irrelevant other projects.

As you can see by this blog article, I’ve a long way to go with the presenting information – but – this is a rambling, so to speak.

I was also drawn to another article yesterday in The Guardian –

How To Improve Your Luck and Win the Lottery Twice (possibly)

This one compounded with the above observations of mine in that,

“…lucky and unlucky people create much of their good and bad luck by the way they think and behave. …”

My ethos these days is to

“Challenge everything, question everything, don’t be afraid to change anything!”

The people I have met over the years have allowed me to see, it was not their attitude towards me, but MY attitude towards me that held me back.   Not once have I met a successful person who has said to me, you can’t do it, more, they will see what I do, and correct me with enthusiasm, when I try to use my defeatist bent on them.  ‘I am not invincible’, they say.  That is all that was needed.

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